I know I am not a perfect mom. That is why I am so dependent on the Lord. I am definitely not super mom. That is why I am so dependent on the Lord. God gets the glory for anything good in my life.
Several years ago, I was asked by a mom, who knows our family very well, to give Child Training Tips at a Baby Shower for her daughter, Courtney. I felt very honored to share some helpful tips that the Lord gave me along the way.
I found my copy of the baby shower “Mom to future Mom” talk that I gave, so I will share it with you.
Here are my 11 Top Child Training Tips given at the Baby Shower:
“Help Lord, I don’t know what to do?” Twenty seven years ago (now 31 years ago), I came home from the hospital saying those words as I held our tiny newborn baby in my arms. It dawned on me that I was personally responsible for taking care of this brand new life-this little person. I felt the ginormous responsibility. I wasn’t crying out to the Lord for our child’s physical needs; my prayer was for the spiritual needs of our child.
That first day home from the hospital, I surrendered to train up our children God’s way by God’s Book, the Bible. I held our baby up to the Lord and said, “Lord, I dedicate this child to You.”
Tip #1 Continually dedicate your child to the Lord.
It is not our marriage; it is God’s marriage.
It is not our home; it is God’s home.
It is not our children; it is God’s children.
I told the Lord, “I need Your wisdom to train up this child; not my way, but Your way, Lord.”
Tip #2 Daily surrender child training to God and ask for Wisdom with each child. I think daily asking God for wisdom is one of the most important reasons for any success in child training. I believe in claiming verses. I claimed the verse James 1:5 as God’s promise to me: “If any of you lack wisdom (that’s me), let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally (bountifully), and it shall be given him.” God did not say wisdom might be given…God said wisdom shall be given bountifully just by asking. Courtney, you have been blessed. The Lord has given you a godly heritage; a godly mother and godly mother-in-law to learn from, plus a godly father-in-law. Always be teachable. Strive to have a Ruth / Naomi relationship with your mother-in-law. Seek wisdom and counsel from all of them.
Tip #3 You must love God by example, so your children will learn to love God. When I brought my first child home from the hospital, I had to humble myself and tell God I did not love Him like I should. I told Him I also did not love His Word enough; the Bible; I honestly did not like to read the Bible very much. I asked God to help me to love Him more and His Word. God knows it anyway, but He wants us to tell him. After telling the Lord, God gave me a great love for Him and His Holy Word. Now, I love getting to know God through the Bible so much, my hobby is studying the Bible. I have to make myself stop reading and studying my Bible, because I can easily read my Bible many hours a day. That is definitely God answering my prayer in a mighty way. It is God’s will that we love Him, read His Word and have a personal relationship with Him. Because it is God’s will, He will mightily answer a humble prayer that is in His will.
Psalm 127:1 “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain (destruction) that build it.” If I tried to do things my way, this verse means I would destroy my home, so I wanted Jesus to be Lord of everything in my life.
Tip #4 Make Jesus Lord of your home. Practice Jesus’ presence within your home. Your children will realize God sees everything they do. Don’t forget to Praise Him daily.
I was not a perfect mother and my children are not perfect, but praise God, we had absolutely no teen age rebellion. God answered my prayer for our children even more abundantly than I have ever imagined. Anything good that came out of my mothering years was because of God’s wonderful grace. God promises to give grace to the humble. I made blunders as a mother. The Bible characters made blunders, but God used them for His glory anyway. Why? Because they humbly and diligently sought forgiveness and to know the Lord and to please Him. God wants to show Himself strong in and through a mother who will seek Him first and His righteousness. A mother can be exceptional if she seeks the Lord with all her heart. I never wanted to be a mediocre mother. In fact, the thought of being a mediocre mom was scary to me. Because I had a deep passion to know God and I desired to do it God’s way, God blessed and He alone gets all the glory. I am nothing without the LORD.
All three of our children said they want to train their own children up the same way we did. I have always told them to take the good they saw in me and use it, but throw out the bad. Last night, Barry, my husband grabbed my hand and said, “We’ve had a good life haven’t we, Linda.” Smiling, I said, “Yes, we have.” He said, “You were a fantastic mother to our kids.” He continued, “I don’t know anyone who put so much effort into child training as you. I am so glad I married you. ” “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” (Proverbs 31:28) I feel so undeserving!
Key #5 Make sure your children’s friends are a positive influence. Brandon said, “having good friends was the number one reason I did not
rebel.” “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” (1Cor. 15:33) When I had special one on one time with each child, I would ask them questions about their friends to find out if they were kind and good friends. It is better to lose friends than our children. The negative will bring down the positive. We usually did not let our children spend the night at other children’s homes. Our children’s best friends were each other. They did not fight with one another; they were very close and enjoyed each other. I just noticed Brandon’s scraped knee in this picture. I loved this age! So sweet! Kristen just had her 31st Birthday, Brandon~28 and Melinda~26.
Tip #6 Be Spirit-filled- Spend time with the Lord each morning in His Word, in prayer and ask Him to daily fill you with the Holy Spirit. Ask to be Spirit-filled several times a day. (Eph. 5:18) “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” (Psalm 119:105)
People usually have turning points in their lives… where God gets their whole- hearted attention. Having a baby and knowing I was responsible to train up a child, was a turning point in my life. When our first-born child was born, God had my undivided attention, and things have never been the same since. It meant everything to me to have Godly children. When our first baby was born, I quit working outside the home and became a full time homemaker, I stopped watching the soap opera I was hooked on, I stopped listening to certain music, I cleansed our home, I started having a daily quiet time reading God’s Word, where I made sure I confessed sins and was Spirit filled. I suddenly got serious about my walk with the Lord; all because I was now responsible for another life. Babies are life changing and for me, having a baby was the beginning of a very exciting and fulfilled life. When I was first saved, I was taught “spiritual breathing”. It is important to daily exhale the sins (confess to the Lord) and inhale the filling of the Holy Spirit (ask the Lord to be Spirit filled).
5 More Top Child Training Tips in the next post…To be continued~