A long time ago, I watched a Jimmy Stewart movie about a young man who wanted to marry Jimmy Stewart’s daughter. Jimmy Stewart asked why the young man wanted to marry his daughter and the young man replied, “Because I love her.”
Jimmy Stewart asked the young man if he liked her. At first, the young man was taken back by the question. Finally the young man understood and said that he liked Jimmy Stewart’s daughter. After Jimmy Stewart made sure the young man liked his daughter, he gave him permission to marry his daughter.
I can’t remember anything else about that Jimmy Stewart movie. I cannot even remember the title of the movie. That one scene only stuck in my mind. I thought he was a wise Dad to ask that certain question of the young man. Liking the person you marry is important. I think asking the daughter that same question is important too.
Ladies, we love our husbands, but do we show them we like them and enjoy spending time with them by doing what they like to do? Does our husband know that he is priority? Do we set aside what we want to do and jump into his world? Or, do we expect him to jump into our world and go along with what we like to do? I admit it! I sometimes have a plan and then I expect him to jump into my world! I do!
We need to make “time” with our husband a high priority during the holiday season (and all seasons for that matter). Finding out what our husband likes is saying to him, “You are important to me.”
How many of your husbands can’t wait to put up the Christmas tree and decorate it? Some? But not most. Instead of singing to him, “Mr. Grinch” or making “Ba hum bug” jokes when he does not want to take part, it is good to find out what he likes to do. He may not like decorating the tree. Let us not insist he help. If he likes to watch you and the children decorate the tree, then fix him his favorite snack where he can have a front row seat watching his family decorate the tree. He may want to invest in an artificial lit tree to make things simpler. Have you asked him his preference?
What does your husband dread at Christmas? Find out, and make plans to drop what he dreads or work it out, so it is pleasant for him.
Have we asked our husband what he likes to do at Christmas and on New Years? I just asked my husband for the first time this year. Yes, I am ashamed to say. It was the first time. I found out he does like helping to decorate the Christmas tree! Yay!!! I always thought so!!
My husband enjoys buying a fresh Christmas tree too. Every year, he enjoys picking out the most perfectly shaped tree on the lot. I think fresh trees make the house smell like Christmas, whatever that means. My husband wants me to string the lights on the tree, which I do. He does not like doing that part. After that, we all enjoy decorating the tree together hanging the ornaments. Background Christmas music is playing and egg nog is being served. I buy a special ornament for our marriage almost every year and one for each of our children. I ended up giving our children their ornaments after they got married. I loved their little special ornaments, and it was hard to part with them.
My husband likes for me and the children to unwrap the pieces of the nativity scene and put it in a prominent place in the home. He likes being a spectator. Barry then enjoys reading the Christmas story from Luke 2 about that first Christmas. He reads by candlelight. “And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.” Luke 2:12
I asked my husband, “What are your favorite things to do at Christmas? He gave me his two top answers:
1. Spending time getting together with family.
2. Eating good food.
He is such a family man! I am blessed!
Why am I not surprised at his second favorite thing! Yes, food is the way to a man’s heart. My next question should be, “What would you like for me to cook?” Yes, that should be my next question, and I should happily cook his favorite Christmas and New Years dishes. Yes, I should! The other day Barry said he wanted shrimp for Christmas! I quickly responded, “Shrimp, that is weird for Christmas!” Alright, that was what I was not supposed to say. I later told him if he wants shrimp, I will gladly make him shrimp. Shrimp is a good idea to me now.
Speaking of food, what fruit are you and I feeding our husband this holiday season?
“the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering (patience), gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance (self-control).” Galatians 5:22,23
We should not be feeding our husband the rotten fruit of a critical spirit, dismay, impatience, unkindness, anger, rudeness, gossip and so on. Love is not a mood or emotion. It is a command. I have the job as a wife to encourage my husband. He needs me. I desire to have a radical love for my husband. I do this by laying down my wants. I complete him by doing him good everyday. “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12
We married our husband because we love him. Now, we love our husband because we married him. Where is our husband on the Christmas list? Is he even on the Christmas list? Remind him he is priority by jumping into his world. Enjoy him and learn to enjoy doing what he likes to do.
How many of your husbands like to watch football? Mine does! I am not a sports fan. Even if you are not a sports fan, jump in with a positive attitude to enjoy a football game with him. Again, make his favorite finger food. My husband and I have a fun tradition of kissing when his favorite team makes a touchdown. Kissing is better than high fiving any day! Yes, watching sports with hubby can be fun after all.
We sold what I termed an “Archie Bunker chair” and opted for a love seat, so we could sit next to one another. Sitting next to Barry, enjoying his favorite team has become pleasurable to me now. I am learning to like his world. When my husband is happy, I am happy.
Spending time with extended family is what my husband enjoys too. We have the neatest extended families. On his side, his mother is an excellent cook. When we were first married, I was so frustrated and said, “I will never cook as good as your mom!” Well, I decided to solve that problem. I spent a week with Barry’s mother and had cooking lessons. His mom does not measure the ingredients…she just tosses them in, but I learned just the same. At Christmas, his mother also wraps many presents for us to open. We all laugh when we each unwrap a box of cereal. His mother even remembers all our favorite cereal brands. I asked my son what he thought his children wanted from us for Christmas, and he said, “I liked unwrapping cereal at Mamaw’s house. They will like that too.” So funny! This Grandma and Papa will pass on the wrapped cereal tradition. Fun Memories.
On my side, we have a huge family who homeschooled. Two of my sisters have seven children and my other sister has five children. We all invested in music lessons for our children. Before the big day, my daughters made a program after talking to each cousin about what they were going to do for the family music fest.
On the day, my Dad led the Christmas music and announced which grandchild would be next. We ended by singing Christmas carols together. What special memories of a special family time!!!! The photo is of my parents and three sisters. This was the last Christmas our mother enjoyed with us before she went to be with the Lord this past May of 2012. Mom is celebrating in heaven with my brother and sister. I pray for all those readers who are missing loved ones this Christmas to be comforted, and may you know the Lord’s tender compassion for you. “Jesus wept.” John 11:35
This Christmas Holiday, let us show our husband that he is tops on our list by putting his wants ahead of our own. A happy husband makes for a happy wife and a happy holiday season.
By the way, holiday means Holy Day. Who is the Holy One? Jesus Christ. And when they write Xmas? X is Greek for Christ! They can try, but they can never take Christ out of Christmas.
My all time favorite Christmas Scripture:
“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6
Do you have any other suggestions for Jumping Into Hubby’s World this Christmas and New Years? How do you work this out for your family?