Date Night: Enchanting and Flirty

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone…” Genesis 2:18.  After saying everything in creation was good, for the very first time God said these words, “It is not good.”  God thought it was not good for Adam to be alone in the world without a wife, so God created beautiful Eve.

God ordained marriage for the primary purpose of companionship.  Adam was so excited to see Eve.  Adam was thrilled to have Eve as his companion to walk by his side through life. What a wonderful day when a man and woman become husband and wife; companions until death do they part.

Marriage and family are the first foundations mentioned in the Bible. Marriage and family are of utmost importance to God.  When Barry and I married on June 23, 1979, we became a family; we became companions for life.  Barry and I not only made a vow to each other, we made a vow to God; “till death do us part”!

One day, I asked my husband what he liked about me when we met and dated. He named several things, but I will mention three:

  1. He liked how I smiled all the time.
  2. He liked my shy, little girl-like mannerisms.
  3. He liked the way I looked at him.

What can happen along the way in a marriage?

  1. Smiling?  I can’t smile all the time with a million things to do.
  2. Shy girlish mannerisms? I grew up.
  3. Looking at him a certain way? Who has time to think about that when children come along?

What is needful:  A weekly Date Night:  Tight budget?  That’s alright too.  The Date Night can fit a small budget and still be wonderful.  Just be a little more creative.

Have you asked your husband what he liked about you when he first saw you and dated you?  After asking him, try to recreate those characteristics on Date Night. After all, those characteristics were a part of “you” that your husband enjoyed. Spend a little extra time on yourself getting ready for Date Night.

Suggestions for a Pleasant Date Night:

  • No talking about the children.
  • No bringing up problems.
  • No complaining.

Focus on him:  Smile, laugh, enjoy!

Date Night: Take a step back in time, and bring back those girlish mannerisms that infatuated him when you dated. Look up at him with those adoring sparkling eyes. Being radiant, enchanting and flirty with your husband is one secret to staying young and beautiful in his eyes, even with the passing of time.

But, What If My Husband Has a Blind Spot?

To be a good wife, I need to be my husband’s cheerleader.  Am I his biggest fan? He has cheerleaders at his work called “secretaries”. His secretaries brag on him and think he is a great boss, so I need to be my husband’s biggest cheerleader.

It means more to him for me to cheer him on than it does for his secretaries at work to cheer him on.  A husband values his wife’s opinion of him over what others think about him.

  1. How much am I bragging on my husband?
  2. Does he know I am cheering him on to success?
  3. Does he know I am on his team?
  4. Does he know by the way I treat him, he is respected?
  5. Does he know I want to please him?

If not, I need to stop and take inventory to make important changes so he knows I think he is the greatest. He needs me. He needs me to be his biggest cheerleader!

But, what if my husband has a blind spot?

  1. First, remember you and I have blind spots too, so we must be approachable about our own blind spots.
  2. Pray!
  3. These are some suggestions to humbly and sweetly approach a husband about a blind spot. Feminine tone, sweet facial expressions and humble tenderness are key as a wife says:
  • “I really expect more of a man such as you.”
  • “You can do better than this.”

Both these appeals about his blind spot show that we have a high opinion of our husband.

Or we could sweetly in our soft tender voices say:

  • “Would you mind very much…?”
  • “Would you consider…?”

Respect is our husband’s #1 need!  “… the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

Come on cheerleaders, let’s go show our husband we are on his team and we are his biggest cheerleader.

Our cheer is: Encourage, Encourage and Encourage him some more!!!!

Gotta go…going to write my husband a sweet note praising him. : )

My Husband Is Not Responsible For Making Me Happy

Looking downcast, she shuffled across her front yard in the middle of the day wearing her long shabby robe and slippers.  As a child, I wondered why a wife and mother would not get dressed for the day. With my childlike thinking, I believed our neighbor was downcast because she had not taken the time to fix herself up. I remember feeling sorry for her, her husband and her children.

It was then and there, I made two mature decisions as a young child:

  1.  I will get up early, fix myself up for the day, and I will not be seen by my household wearing a robe all day.
  2.  I will try hard to keep myself slim, but healthy looking. I don’t want to shuffle around looking like I have no energy either.

Have you ever given your husband the responsibility of making you happy?  I have! How silly of me to think my husband is supposed to have the job of making me happy.  I have come to the conclusion that I am responsible for my own quality of life by the thoughts I choose to think on and the actions I choose to take.  These are some things that I found help me:

  1. Rising up before the rest of my household and having a quiet time is #1 to having a happy heart.  Surrendering to the Lord and allowing Him to live in and through me is the “utmost”.
  2. Exercising gets my happy endorphins going.  Just a 20 minute total body workout every morning does the trick. Exercise also gets me energized.
  3. Get dressed and look my best for the day.
  4. Take time before the week begins to plan goals and a daily schedule. Plan meals in advance. Everyone needs a checklist. It is so much fun to scratch through the daily list when the job is done.  What a sense of accomplishment!
  5. Be a bright spot in my husband’s day. Having him wake up to find a nice little note praising him is a great way to start.  “She will do him good…” Proverbs 31:12

Note to self:  I am responsible for my own happiness.  I should never give anyone else the responsibility to make me happy.  I alone am responsible for my own quality of life by the choices I make.  I am to live my life to glorify the Lord.

Time for me to write that note of praise to my husband. “Help me Lord, to be a bright spot in my husband’s day today.”

I pray all those reading this post will have a “happy heart” day.

What To Do When Your Husband Aggravates You

Some things just stand out in a person’s mind for years.  I remember the words of a young wife and mother who said:

“I am so grateful I was kind to my husband on that icy morning before he left for work.  I got up extra early that morning and made my husband a hot  breakfast just the way he likes. I did something a little extra special for him that morning.  I put his clothes in the dryer to warm them up before he put them on to go outside in the freezing cold.  My husband left for work after having a hot breakfast, warm clothes and with a smile on his face.  That was the last time I ever saw my husband alive. Because of the icy road conditions, my husband was involved in an accident and went home to be with the Lord. I am so grateful the Lord prompted me to get my husband’s clothes warm that morning, because his smiling face stays with me.”

I thought, “Whoa, what if a husband left the home angry at his wife and that was the last time she saw him?”

Life is too short for such things. Let us get things settled before our husband leaves the home.  Also, it is the wise wife who gets things settled before going to sleep. God says, “…let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:26, 27

1. There is always a flip side to an aggravation.

2. Stop the aggravation by flipping it to an appreciation!

When aggravated at one’s husband, because he leaves a mess all over the house, flip it to appreciation. “I am so thankful I have a husband!”

I remember wearing the perfumed scent of “spit up” for a time.  When you get ready to go somewhere and the baby spits up all over your nice clothes, it is time to appreciate. “Thank you, Lord! I have a baby!”

Sometimes I am in need of patience. I remember praying when our children were very young, “Lord give me patience with these children”. The Lord gently spoke in my heart, “That is what I am teaching you now”.  “Lord, thank you for my children who help me become more like You.”

Life is short.  Life may be shorter than we think.  Aggravated at your husband about __________?  Today, let us purpose to flip all aggravations into appreciations. Choosing the flip side is choosing a happy life and a happy home.

Besides, if one’s husband was perfect, then why would he need a helper?
I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18b

Application: How can I show my appreciation to my husband today before he goes to work? What extra thing can I do to send my husband off with a smile?

My husband is about to get a back scratch.  What about yours?  🙂

What I Look Forward to The Most in the Afternoon

Best friends
Fun in the sun!

When our children were young, I looked forward to our 1 hour rest time in early afternoon. I think all children in the lower elementary grades and younger need rest time, even if they don’t nap. Young children can look at books quietly in their beds. Mothers need a time apart, so they don’t fall apart.  But rest time was not what I looked forward to the most in the afternoon.

Each day, the best part of the afternoon for me was when my best buddy, Barry came home from work.  I started an afternoon tradition, and I would excitedly say, “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!” Everything is dropped and the race is on as I try to beat the children and the dog out the door to be the first to greet Barry.  I love the sound of my husband’s truck coming  up our driveway. My heart skips a beat when I hear that wonderful sound, because I have missed my best buddy all day.

One day, I decided to see what would happen if I didn’t say anything when Barry drove up in the driveway.  The children cried out “Daddy’s home!” and ran into the kitchen to tell me.  I acted like I didn’t hear. I didn’t get excited and our children stared at me in astonishment and repeated “Mama, Daddy’s home”.  Then, I smiled and tried to beat them out the door.  That day I lost the race, but I realized something.  Part of our children’s pleasure about their Dad coming home was seeing and hearing their mother’s excitement over their Dad.  I didn’t have to fake excitement.  I so enjoyed that time of the day. I still enjoy Barry coming home from work and my heart still skips a beat when I hear his truck.

When the children were small, Barry would play with them when he came home.  I am a morning person and my husband comes to life in the evening.  When Daddy comes home, I can finish up cooking while he usually spends the time jumping on the trampoline with the children.  Yes, I know it was dangerous, but they broke all trampoline rules and jumped at the same time. God protected them.  I can still picture like it was yesterday all the laughter and fun our children had with their Dad!

What memories will our children have of us when they leave our homes?

What traditions will our children want to continue in their own homes?

I do know it is important for children to see their parents in love with one other.